Your Marriage Isn't Broken. You're Just Too Close with Dr. Corey Allan
You haven't had a big blowup — you've just quietly become two people sharing a house, and you're not sure when that happened. Dr. Corey Allan explains why the problem isn't that you've grown apart, but that you may have lost yourselves trying to become one — and why you going first is the only move that actually breaks the stalemate. Start the conversation tonight with Dr. Diane's free Yes, No, Maybe Checklist at mylibidodoc.com/yesnomaybe.
Key Points
- Marriage often exposes our fears, insecurities, and traumas, which can lead to overreactions and miscommunication if not properly addressed.
- Instead of focusing on how to communicate better, couples should concentrate on what is being communicated, including deeper issues and personal insecurities.
- Relationships thrive when both partners have the space to be themselves without overreacting or smothering each other, which often requires a shift from trying to control the other person to focusing on self-control and personal growth.
About the Guest:
*Dr. Corey Allan Expertise: Corey Allan (if you want to be formal it’s Dr. Corey Allan, but he's usually pretty casual) is a husband, father, author, speaker, as well as a Marriage and Family Therapist with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy. He and his wife Pam host a weekly podcast, Sexy Marriage Radio, where they help frame conversations and actions that help couples create a marriage fully alive. ??Corey has a private practice and is the founder of SMR, an online resource aimed at helping marriages not just survive, but thrive. Pam is a CPA at a small firm in Frisco TX as well as a cohost with Corey's work. Marriage is more about developing character and wisdom as a human than it is about the two people being happy.??Love is a process, not just a feeling. It produces action. Added to this, life is choice (so is marriage). Therefore we work to help people: Grow deeper Spiritually, Keep it simple, Be passionate, Live in community with others and Enjoy the ride.
https://smr.fm @sexymarriageradion (on all social platforms) https://smr.fm/gofirst
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Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction and welcome with Dr. Corey Allan
1:27 Dr. Corey Allan's journey into marriage therapy
2:36 The complexity of couple's therapy
4:12 Common mistakes in marriage therapy
8:24 Handling reactions in relationships
12:02 Dealing with infidelity in relationships
17:28 Addressing the feelings of the betrayed partner
20:02 The impact of shame and guilt in relationships
21:27 Sponsor: Hot Monogamy Society by Dr. Diane Mueller
23:00 Differentiating between guilt and shame
23:59 Addressing the innate worthiness in people
25:18 Differences between guilt and shame
26:28 Approaching shame and its origins
29:16 Introduction to the book "Go First"
30:37 Sponsor: Dr. Joel Kaplan's pumps
32:03 Internal vs. external locus of control
34:45 The importance of renegotiating agreements in relationships
39:02 Concept of "Go First" in creating better intimacy
41:33 Common issues causing connection loss in couples
44:16 Information on Dr. Corey Allan's resources and podcast
Chapters
| 0:00 | |
| 1:27 | |
| 2:36 | |
| 4:12 | |
| 8:24 | |
| 12:02 | |
| 17:28 | |
| 20:02 | |
| 21:27 | |
| 23:00 | |
| 23:59 | |
| 25:18 | |
| 26:28 | |
| 29:16 | |
| 30:37 | |
| 32:03 | |
| 34:45 | |
| 39:02 | |
| 41:33 | |
| 44:16 |
Transcript
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