Why Secure Lovers Thrive (and Others Struggle in Silence) With Aubrey Aust
Libido Lounge
Welcome to Libido Lounge, the intimate podcast that’s not afraid to delve deep into the realms of love and libido. Specifically curated for couples in long term relationships who are looking to have better sex, more novelty and deeper connection.
Dr. Diane Mueller
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Why Secure Lovers Thrive (and Others Struggle in Silence) With Aubrey Aust

S1 Sep 11, 2025 • 27 mins

Some couples seem to grow stronger and more connected over time, while others quietly drift apart and struggle without ever addressing the issues. In this conversation, we explore why emotional security is the key difference between thriving partnerships and those that suffer in silence. You’ll discover how secure attachment fosters trust, open communication, and lasting intimacy, and why insecure patterns like avoidance or anxiety often lead to conflict and disconnection. We will also share practical insights for breaking unhealthy cycles, building deeper emotional safety, and creating a relationship where both partners feel seen, valued, and supported. If you want to understand what truly makes love last, this discussion will give you the tools and clarity to strengthen your bond.

Key Points

  • Our needs in relationships are dynamic and evolve over time, which is crucial for maintaining desire and connection.
  • Engaging with our bodies and asking, "What do you need today?" fosters a deeper connection to our changing desires.
  • Starting conversations about needs and desires in low-stakes environments can help build intimacy and emotional safety in relationships.

About the Guest:

**Aubrey Aust ** Expertise: Aubrey Aust is a researcher, writer, and master’s candidate at NYU, where she studies relational psychology and philosophy. Her work explores how we build emotional safety, experience intimacy, and reconnect with desire. Drawing on attachment theory, somatic psychology, and the ethics of care, Aubrey focuses on the concept of erotic intelligence: the emotional and embodied wisdom that helps us feel alive in our relationships and in our own skin. Website: www.aubreyaust.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust/

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